Kate Spence

Feedback from Kate Spence a participant of :

IMMACULATE PERCEPTIONS – Spiritual Hoovering and a Blissful Path To Creative Release.
A weekend workshop with Rebirthing Breathwork Trainer David Parker & Performance Artist Dickie Beau funded by The LIVE ART Development Agency.

At Chelsea Theatre Kings Road London October 5/6 2013.

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I was very much looking forward to the workshop as it was looking to remove ‘blocks’ that could be stilting my work. Normally the blocks that affect my work are also those that affect my life in general, but I was very interested to see how this would be tackled in the workshop. I found some things about the two days truly surprising! One of note is that I realised, very early on, that I was angry (not with the participants of the workshop or workshop leaders! With myself, with unamed individuals from my life). Anger is not something I often express but on going round the group at the beginning of the first day and vocalising how we felt and what we hoped to achieve over the weekend, I realised I was angry.

I was also pleasantly surprised by the level of honesty in which the workshop leaders talked about their own life histories and how their own birth scenarios could be linked to their later life events. It was hugely interesting to think about the impact of the birth experience in having such a major influence on the rest of a persons life. As the workshop went on I could really see how my own experience could be mirrored in the rest of my life events and in my current state of being. The first breath work session on chairs, eye gazing with others, was very intense. I became aware that I don’t accept nurturing very well as the lady placed opposite me was looking at me in a truly caring fashion and that made me so uncomfortable I couldn’t look her in the eye. This was a surprising inability on my part to embrace intimacy, as so much of my work is very intimate. One massive block discovered already on day one!

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I found both breathing sessions very physical experiences, as opposed to emotional or mental. I responded physically, and struggled to breathe, I got light headed, my hands got pins and needles, I needed the toilet, but I didn’t become aware of emotional or mental processes. This was actually fantastic as I normally have far too much chaos in my mind, so to feel calm and empty was wonderful.

On the second breathing session I was really struggling to fill my lungs, Diana Roberts seemed to notice, came over and put her hand on my shoulder and said very gently but firmly ‘you do have the ability to breathe with the whole of your lungs’ or something along those lines. This seemed to give me permission to do so. I then spent the rest of the session just really enjoying being able to breathe to that extent. In fact when we finished and I returned to normal breathing I felt like I was barely breathing at all anymore.

That is something I learnt, that normally I seem to breathe just enough to stay alive but no more, barely breathing, and that this can relate to how I make exchanges with others, that I’m fairly boundaried and that maybe I’m guilty of giving just enough of myself/and taking back from others, just enough to survive but not to take life and relationships to something more fulfilling. There is so much else I could say, but I also I found the listing our jealousies exercise especially enlightening and helpful.  Please do keep me in the loop, as I would like to explore this more, so if you are doing anymore I would love to know about it.

Kate Spence

http://junctionwolverhampton.org/archive/festival-programme-2012/artists/kate-spence/