Coming CLEAN – I couldn’t LIE!

10442518_10155144782205437_2541787776889971785_nMy OWNING IT Blog by Catherine Hoffman 

Oh my – There was a large group of new peeps and old regulars to Urban Lifeclass in our new room at The Place Dance Centre in Euston on the day I was leading, so that was encouraging – but once we got the room sorted I noticed I HAD LEFT ALL MY NOTES ON MY KITCHEN TABLE!!

Since this Sunday 12th April Seminar was about exploring DECEPTION, DENIAL and Doublespeak. I HAD TO COME CLEAN. So after already confessing ( and trying not to show PANIC ) David said they were all in my head anyway, so I sat quietly writing down what I could remember.

After MORNING PAGES from The Artist’s Way, we started working through various exercises looking at ways in which we use these following three modes in our lives : What is the biggest lie we have told? . .  What does authenticity mean to us? . .  and Who are we really?

How do we navigate our lives as genuinely as possible through the stories we are told from our families and society as a whole, even the stories we tell ourselves… so we looked at who we were in terms of what we attract, and what makes us attractive, and to going underneath and looking at our flaws and owning our shit.

After a 15 mins eye-gaze exercise with breathwork in partners, we looked at ways in which ‘we suffer for love’ to get what we want. How do we do this in our relationships and even in our public lives?


In small groups of fours we discussed various ways we ‘suffer for love’. Each group then fed back five examples each to the larger group and I made a list of them all: Do you identify with any?

They echo aspects of CODEPENDENCY.

1. People pleasing/not causing a fuss.
2. I am here 24/7 for you, I will do anything to keep you happy…
3. Manipulating emotions to get acceptance – saying something to gain the acquired response.
4. Guilting someone to get something.
5. Bullying.
6. Pity – seeking or giving.
7. Buying love.
8. Not asserting your own needs – playing the victim.
9. Passive/aggressive modes such as sarcasm.
10. Misinterpreting what has been said to you, knowing that is wrong. but not bothering to really understand the truth as it is easier to misread something.
11. Sabotage.
12. Creating a problem to achieve sympathy – a negative spin.
13. A competition of stress.
14. Faking illness for attention.
15. Refusing love/pulling back/keeping a distance to test love.
16. Being ‘good’ for praise or approval.
17. Flattering and flirting – complimenting for manipulation.
18. Refusing help, putting yourself out there as distressed but rebuffing.
19. Emotional shutdown rather than telling.
20. Humour – using it to deflect and withdrawing it to play the miserable/serious one.

Everyone then went through the list individually, wrote down concrete examples of when they use these techniques and who with – like a confession of what we can do to other people and damage ourselves.

DIY-farmhouse-kitchen-table-51We then went through the list and chose two that resonated strongly and in the next week to observe when we do those things and see if we can change those habits. A hard thing to do but being honest with ourselves about our actions and agendas is a step in the right direction to freeing ourselves from DECEPTION, DENIAL and DOUBLE-SPEAK, in a world where we are surrounded by half truths, shadowy words, twists and turns – we only have to look at the election campaigns at the moment!

. . . and when I got home, my notes were there on the table.

and David was right, it WAS in my head, the notes tallied exactly with what I wrote down in panic! It just goes to show. NO LIE. 

Catherine Hoffmann

One Day Rebirthing Seminar Sunday April 12th 12.15pm – 8pm EUSTON £70/50 : Spirituality, Denial, Deceptions & Double Messages.

“Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov



Many think they are a FRAUD. In what they produce and who they are.

It’s easy to think that we are not creative, not artistic, yet ironically capable of creating inertia, chaos living, procrastination or double messages in our lives. Using THE ARTISTS WAY we will focus on SETTING BOUNDARIES, surveying our current surroundings, focusing on perceptions regarding environments, colleagues and self with an eye to your best interests, not just serving others. Many of us grew up in a home environment of DOUBLE MESSAGES, where love also meant violence, verbal put downs and abuses. We still deliver those memes of misunderstanding to ourselves partners and friends. Feel them, Claim them, DUMP THEM.


Getting REAL about ourselves is not first on our *to do* list, I’m sure, but being honest about our work, our perceptions and dreams is the FIRST STEP to INTERNAL HARMONY. Writing, verbalising and getting it out there, even if solution appears distant, is vital. Then as we do at the end of each SUNDAY BREATHWORK SEMINAR, handing our minds, body, and spirit over to 1 hours Breathwork, creating altered states of consciousness ( Trippy without being Hippy ) with resultant clarity, serenity and replenishment.


The Lecture Room : The Place, 16 Flaxman Terrace, London WC1H 9AT

imagesWell served with numerous tube lines, close to Kings Cross & Euston Main Line Stations, even Paris & Belgium, as EUROSTAR is across the road, so even those folks in Kent can get to us direct in a short time. Registration starts at 12.15 pm ( but many of us meet up before for breakfast somewhere – details coming on that one ). We break for lunch at 3pm for an hour, then continue till 8pm, giving time for peeps to travel afar, take dinner with friends or go home at a reasonable time and relax.

We are not part of THE PLACE programming or have any attachment to their activities, we are simply hiring The Lecture Room, so please do not contact them. They have given us permission to show you their logo, but it will not appear on any of our future promotional material, as their terms and conditions dictate. The room IS smaller than The Light Centre in Victoria ( but just as expensive I might add ) but we will have comfortable chairs to sit on as well as yoga mats.

WELCOME if you are new to Personal Development, Groupwork or Breathwork. We don’t do special languages, New Age stuff or talking sticks. Other groups do those things so much better than us. We are just a bunch of creative people willing to change habits, addictions and depleting toxic relationships from our lives. If you are new, one of our team can contact you if you wish to answer questions. We don’t sell anything, or sign anyone up, we leave the choice up to you. You don’t need to be Creative, just willing to check out your life and how you can change the impact of all your relationships.

10501688_302332539936610_6051405388470842940_n£70 for the whole day including a GROUP REBIRTH SESSION ( Some concessions are available for £50 if you are already on the DIY or our concession list ) Delayed/part payment will be individually considered.

Paypal to BOOKING : Contact Robert Beck (+44) 7913862492 for payment options.