SOCIAL MEDIA COMMENT by David Parker
In the 1950’s when colour came back in vogue after the darkness of World War 2, women fashioned themselves on movie heroines including home perms and colouring. The image makeover had begun.
Radio Luxembourg, a European short wave radio station playing pop music, followed the American radio tradition of product sponsorship and jingles, which explains why Friday Night was always ‘AMARMI Night’. Amarmi was the L’Oreal of the day, a hair dye you could use at home rather than use the expertise of expensive hair salons. But you could always tell a home job and it was noted with glee by some women in particular, eager to pounce and point the finger that that woman was a ‘suicide blonde’. Dyed by her own hand.
In the Internet Age we can easily makeover our identity on dating and social networking sites like facebook and perform *facebook suicide* by simply deleting or deactivating our virtual reality. It’s a modern version of walking into the sea, pile of clothes on the beach and starting again somewhere else.
Various theories abound the net as to why people do this to themselves with the most popular one being *overwhelm*. Too many friends, messages, event invites, chat buddies, pokes and promotional spam being the cliff they jumped over. Very different indeed from the *suicide scarers* who share their emotional despairing plight online and ask for help or role play assistance.
With security scares, hackers fears and serious stalkers most people using facebook provide fake information somewhere to protect themselves, so lying about age, birthdate or even work details are commonplace. Most of us don’t really care if someone calls themselves Tumbleweed De Bior, is 96 and has a *complicated relationship*. We would be surprised if they hadn’t.
It’s all part of the performance, the alter-ego of amusement. But god help the fake who fails to amuse, who reports what petrol station they have just visited or has 5000 friends but only 5 ever reply to posts. Unforgivable. Then you get serial relationship addicts who perform a service to us all, reminding us that posting *IN A RELATIONSHIP* two weeks after that first date is also the first step toward Codependency Anonymous. Like bystanders at the Colosseum, we watch and stare as the lion of temporary love snarls at the brave illusion of longevity. Then the inevitable happens – it ends in tears and the facebook friends/rescuers rush in with kisses on a stretcher, identifying the pain of rejection, offering hearty soundbites to cover the wounds of failure and unfairness of it all. But two weeks later, they return with another trophy in hand on FB, another victim, another David to fight the Goliath of approval addiction. Now that’s what I call real facebook suicide.
No boundaries, limited emotional intelligence, no time to waste. It’s called ‘love’. The addiction to be approved of. Codependents are inclined to be a bit all or nothing, hard on the outside, soft centred toward the rim, waiting, searching for solution but often living in the world of the *unavailable*. They can have high goals, even higher ideals and an extreme sense of perfectionism wrapped around a core of procrastination. Like Lord ‘Mandy’ Mandleson they are “Fighters not Quitters*, often *coping* with life instead of living it for higher purpose. Many people with long term illness fit this type, I certainly did, but like others, with help and experienced functional support learn to live again, despite circumstance, without blame or inner revenge of the world around them. We discovered a level of acceptance leading to spiritual growth, gratitude and self respect.
Within the urban dictionary *facebook suicide* refers to deleting and disappearing identity from cyberspace, via overwhelm, information overload, a serious stalking presence or an act of attention like a teenager sulking in his room. Until we learn to face the world on it’s terms, we will always attract rejection.
I focus on three words in my seminars : REJECTION, RIVALRY & REBIRTH. By playing with and accepting rejection as normal and healthy, we grow into adults. By releasing the need to be number one all the time, and solving sibling rivalry, the requirement for competition and winning withers. You have already WON, why the need to WIN again? . . and again?
When someone wins around you – bathe in their glory, honour the aliveness not the death of losing. Jealousy can be the kiss of death. Never compare and despair. Don’t be tempted to destroy your creative outputs and your ideas – put them away – for the drawer can be pulled out another day for review and refreshment. When you take this approach to life, the law of attraction delivers peace.
Facebook suicide, or the un-intentional duvet day, procrastination and separation from human contact are all elements to watch in order to heartily belong to the world of living, not existing, coping or suicidal thinking. Deleting yourself from life, risk, rejection and experimentation is simply a slow death of spiritual energy. So take a deep breath – and savour your life adventure –
or join us for our MONTHLY BREATHE and come back into your body.